Women, Food and God...plus fur ankle boots!

Like velcro Hettie still drags half the garden into and throughout the house every time she comes in. Bits of leaf and twigs stick to her back end and tail like glue. All this and she still has her knots problem. Her fur just twists and curls from all that lying down to sleep all day. The knots are quite big, like marbles. So when we went off to Albury last weekend we asked the Vet to give Hettie a trim under her tummy. We've been through this before ..when she came back looking like a poodle, so we are always very clear now about what we want.

This time a simple trim under the tummy turned out to be her back end shaved at an angle and her rear...basically bum...shaved to the skin from her crack all down her back legs to just above her ankles. Not a good thing in the Winter months. Anyway, she now looks like she is wearing skin tight leggings with furry little boots.

Guess its back to to read Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth. There must be an answer there.

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Where's Hettie?

I called Sarah to let her know that I was in the taxi and on my way home. No answer. I tried her mobile, but again no answer. I left it a little while, until I was half way home and she picked up the phone. 'We've had a bit of a thing here' she said. I thought Oh my God what now? Apparently, Hettie did not come home the previous night and still wasn't home when Sarah had finished work the following day.

So Sarah went outside calling her name and eventually got a meek answer from somewhere? After using her native cat catching skills Sarah tracked the meow down to the house next door...that is under the house next door!

Sarah knocked on our neighbours (strangers!) door and explained the situation...asking if she could take a look under the house. Its not the first time that Hettie has got into something that she can't get out of. She did exactly the same thing at Thelma Avenue on the Gold Coast. Anyway, minutes later Sarah is crawling on hands and knees under the house with no care for the dangers that lurked around and the potential for spiders. Dust and cobwebs would not deter her from her mission. To get Hettie!

Hettie, Hettie she called and the constant reply of meow (I'm over here!), Meow (I'm over here!) could be clearly heard.

Unfortunately when in this situation Hettie has 'stickpawitus' and cannot move. She just sits rigor mortis like and meows, not budging an inch.

Hettie was not going to move into the light and be seen, let alone grabbed and bagged! Sarah asked our neighbour, the younger of the family, if there was another door that would give access to the other side of the house. Indeed there was and as the young escort accompanied Sarah to the north side the older...a sweet Chinese lady mumbled on and on in some horribly strange language. Probably muttering about it not being good to disturb the spirits that slept there. Just as well Sarah can't speak angry Chinese.

The new door appeared. When I say door, it really was  something on hinges about the size of a tray. So Sarah squeezed through and began the Hettie chant. Out of the darkness the torch found two owl like eyes peering back. The brown beast had been found. However, it would not move. It could hear the sweet incantation of the mother Sarah, but all the beast could see was another more menacing beast with one bright lethal and blinding eye...the torch!

By now Sarah was pretty tired, dusty and just about had enough of the bloody cat. So she decided to just let her stay there and come out in her own time. How she got under the house is anyones guess..but there she sat. Our English speaking neighbour allowed Sarah to keep the small tray door open. And low and behold within 30 minutes the fluffy brown four paw was back home, none the wiser or caring. By the time I got home Sarah looked as if she had just come up from a mine. I don't know who was worse off, my Sarah or Sarah Ferguson?!

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Pillars of the Earth.

Hettie doesn't say much. In fact she doesn't say very much at all. Hettie only speaks when her life is in danger and then it's quietly. Not that her life is in danger, but if you stare at her for too long she thinks you're to cut her throat. She's a real scaredy cat! Hettie is a looker. She just looks at you with big yellow eyes like an owl. She looks like she is upset and going to burst into tears. Thats Hettie. I don't know why...I just don't know why, but Hettie reminds me of my Nan. My Nan Dumbrell, my Mums, Mum. Its the simplicity of her. Nan was a country girl..in fact her name was Daisy and she was beautiful in her way. And that's Hettie. Hettie is a country girl, not simple, quite shrewed and intelligent in fact...no, just a simple outlook on life. Refreshing. There is a new mini series based on the book by Ken Follett called Pillars Of The Earth and I think my Nan and Hettie are pillars of the earth. Natural, earthy, good people.

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Glee Cats

Everything  is quiet here. No sight or sound of cats. Just the odd trail of fur here and there and bits of carpet that they have sprung from their claws. Where Hannah and Hettie are only God knows. I suspect that they are in some little corner, hidden within a bush or under the house. I dare not say their names out loud. On hearing her name Hannah will appear like a sudden mist and start blinking due to having to expose her eyes to the light from waking and then complaining bitterly in the process. Hettie on the other hand will hear her name and just ignore us until she feels hungry, which lately is most of the time. You can always tell where Hettie has been because she has Velcro fur. Everything sticks to it...leaves, twigs, saw dust, food...just anything. Miraculously it starts to fall off her body as soon as she enters the house leaving bits everywhere. At least one item seems to stick like glue and she wanders around with some fashion accessory most of the evening.  They will soon turn up though as their favourite TV show Glee is about to start.
http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Line Dancing Cats

I really do get fed up sometimes with Hannah and Hettie hanging around my ankles. If I don't trip over them, I walk through a trail of abandoned white or chocolate coloured fur. Where does it all come from? They should be bald by now surely? So I decided that they should have a hobby and sent them to line dancing lessons.  If you've never seen line dancing you may be wondering what it is and what's all the fuss about. Firstly line dancing is exactly what it sounds like people...sorry, cats... dancing in lines to music usually all doing the same steps, except for when the cats have a brain freeze and go arse over paw. Apparently that adds to the fun. Although originally done to country music you will now find line dancing classes that dance to just about any type of music, but I'm reliably told that Country superstar Kenny Chesney is the bees knees with his guitar. 

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Real Roo Meat...I mean....

I just don't know. Ever since we got Hannah and Hettie fixed..you know what I mean..that thing where you take the cat to the vet and when you pick them up they have this little square pink patch of skin that has been shaved. They come back all dozy and pissed because they know something has happened, but they don't know what! Okay..so I am a man and I don't like talking about these things. I mean we don't talk about this stuff do we? Well, apparently we do and we do it in public like sex expert Dr. Laura Berman going inside the bedroom to help real couples in crisis. Can their marriages be saved? Who cares...I've got two cats who need help. I think that they are supplementing their..shh..urges...nudge, nudge, if you know what I mean by eating. I think they have mixed up organic Roo meat with the concept of orgasmic Roo heat...know what I mean? I did wonder about giving them that Roo meat..its cheaper but they could start jumping all over the place...know what I mean? Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes, but even I'm feeling a little jumpy about it!

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Magicians!

Did you know Hannah and Hettie are magicians? I think they are. I have never seen food disappear so quickly! Sarah used to buy those neat little multi packets of cat food. All measured out in portions. Each night we would just dish it up half each. Lamb and veg, Chicken and something and Salmon and something else expensive that they ate. Whatever..it all seemed a lot of money for two tiny pussy cats. By the way, did you see the cat in the new Steve Carell and Tina Fey movie Date Night? What was I talking about? Oh yeh, we just happened to come across another meat. Can't say why, I guess that we thought it was worth trying. So here it goes "PAWS Fresh ROO Meat" comes in a big bag and thats what they have every night. Because its not in measured little packets I probably give them more than they deserve and no matter how much I give them it disappears in seconds...I mean seconds. Sounds like an advert I know, but really its Magic!

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Women, Food and God

Hannah and Hettie hover in the doorway of their apartment (Sarah's Bathroom). They look serious, withdrawn, pale..if a cat can look pale? Eyes watering they trace a glance at every one of my movements. To the left, to the right. I walk towards them and they move closer to their food bowls and I make a beeline to my study. I move back to the kitchen and they watch me, alert, ears flicker and paws ready to spring towards their food. But it does not come. Sarah and I are still busy just doing other stuff. However, Hannah and Hettie wait patiently. I move to the fridge and pass Sarah the salad mixture. Now the two cats are desperate. A faint meow a sort of plea for food murmurs from their whiskered mouths. At last Sarah has finished and the two furry animals believe they will be fed. Wrong! Sarah sits down with her latest book by Geneen Roth called 'Women, Food, and God'. What about 'Cats, Food and Food' by Peter Urr I hear Hannah yell. Just another evening of tender moments as they both wait for their meal. 

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/