Sarah is away this weekend and secretly worrying about Hannah and Hettie who will be left under the guard of David, who has to fend for himself while she is away. As it happens Hannah and Hettie were in for a treat. David decided to get a take-away rather than cook, so he went up to the local fish and chip shop. But when he looked at the menu decided instantly to have chips and a hamburger 'with the lot'. On the way back home David nibbled at the chips and by the time he got home the edge was taken off his appetite just a little. The hamburger was huge and it came in one of those polystyrene containers with a flip back lid. So David decided not to have the burger bun and instead flipped open both halves of the lid to create two side by side bowls. He then cut up the bun and placed a half in each side of the container. You see Hettie just loves burger buns so this was a real treat. Hours later there were bits of bun everywhere...as if there had been a bun explosion. Hannah had taken her half and was in heaven in her bed...basically the bath with a towel in it. So Sarah needn't worry. Hannah and Hettie are doing just fine and listening to Christina Aguilera as they eat.
http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/
Thinking of Rielle Hunter and John Edward
I crept in the other night and got caught again. Couldn't find my back out and there was no food on offer. Sometimes they just don't know how important it is to get food first. Not happy with the portion size so I'll have to sort that out with the management. Had to wait until supper time for more food. Dad would get up then Mum. They would both shuffle papers, put the kettle on and do all sorts of tiny activities, but still no supper! I kept going to our apartment door and peered in to glance at the dinner table, but still nothing in the bowls. I did this several times and it got quite boring. For a long time I stared at Dad with hungry thoughts. He just looked at me and then turned back to the TV. I decided to take root in the apartment even though it was dark. If I stayed close to the door I could either escape or be first at the table. I was miles away thinking of Rielle Hunter and John Edward when Dad peered around the door and went BOO! I nearly shit myself! It really made me jump so I gave him this feeble strained hiss that wouldn't scare a leaf. He really made me jump. So when I had my supper I did a real big smelly poo in the tray. Only thing is I forgot the tray is in our apartment so it wasn't too pleasant for a while!
Melissa Etheridge and Me!
The evenings are getting darker now so I can get a bit closer to the house and look in to see whats happening without being noticed. I did that last night. I just thought I would keep an eye on Dad because as soon as I come in he closes the door and I'm stuck. The only point of getting in the house is to have dinner. It looked safe so I got a bit closer. If they aren't watching I've sometimes been able to get in, have my dinner and shoot out again before they see me. I crept in last night. Dad was at his desk and Mum was zipping around the house somewhere. I darted to the dinner table, but there was nothing in the bowls. Heck! I ran to the back door, but Dad had already closed it...Heck! Fooled again. Now I've got to put up with Mum's new CD by some woman called Melissa Etheridge. It's blaring away and I've got my paws in my ears. Maybe I'll have better luck tomorrow.
Pillars of the Earth.
Hettie doesn't say much. In fact she doesn't say very much at all. Hettie only speaks when her life is in danger and then it's quietly. Not that her life is in danger, but if you stare at her for too long she thinks you're to cut her throat. She's a real scaredy cat! Hettie is a looker. She just looks at you with big yellow eyes like an owl. She looks like she is upset and going to burst into tears. Thats Hettie. I don't know why...I just don't know why, but Hettie reminds me of my Nan. My Nan Dumbrell, my Mums, Mum. Its the simplicity of her. Nan was a country girl..in fact her name was Daisy and she was beautiful in her way. And that's Hettie. Hettie is a country girl, not simple, quite shrewed and intelligent in fact...no, just a simple outlook on life. Refreshing. There is a new mini series based on the book by Ken Follett called Pillars Of The Earth and I think my Nan and Hettie are pillars of the earth. Natural, earthy, good people.
Glee Cats
Everything is quiet here. No sight or sound of cats. Just the odd trail of fur here and there and bits of carpet that they have sprung from their claws. Where Hannah and Hettie are only God knows. I suspect that they are in some little corner, hidden within a bush or under the house. I dare not say their names out loud. On hearing her name Hannah will appear like a sudden mist and start blinking due to having to expose her eyes to the light from waking and then complaining bitterly in the process. Hettie on the other hand will hear her name and just ignore us until she feels hungry, which lately is most of the time. You can always tell where Hettie has been because she has Velcro fur. Everything sticks to it...leaves, twigs, saw dust, food...just anything. Miraculously it starts to fall off her body as soon as she enters the house leaving bits everywhere. At least one item seems to stick like glue and she wanders around with some fashion accessory most of the evening. They will soon turn up though as their favourite TV show Glee is about to start.
http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/
http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/
Line Dancing Cats
I really do get fed up sometimes with Hannah and Hettie hanging around my ankles. If I don't trip over them, I walk through a trail of abandoned white or chocolate coloured fur. Where does it all come from? They should be bald by now surely? So I decided that they should have a hobby and sent them to line dancing lessons. If you've never seen line dancing you may be wondering what it is and what's all the fuss about. Firstly line dancing is exactly what it sounds like people...sorry, cats... dancing in lines to music usually all doing the same steps, except for when the cats have a brain freeze and go arse over paw. Apparently that adds to the fun. Although originally done to country music you will now find line dancing classes that dance to just about any type of music, but I'm reliably told that Country superstar Kenny Chesney is the bees knees with his guitar.
Real Roo Meat...I mean....
I just don't know. Ever since we got Hannah and Hettie fixed..you know what I mean..that thing where you take the cat to the vet and when you pick them up they have this little square pink patch of skin that has been shaved. They come back all dozy and pissed because they know something has happened, but they don't know what! Okay..so I am a man and I don't like talking about these things. I mean we don't talk about this stuff do we? Well, apparently we do and we do it in public like sex expert Dr. Laura Berman going inside the bedroom to help real couples in crisis. Can their marriages be saved? Who cares...I've got two cats who need help. I think that they are supplementing their..shh..urges...nudge, nudge, if you know what I mean by eating. I think they have mixed up organic Roo meat with the concept of orgasmic Roo heat...know what I mean? I did wonder about giving them that Roo meat..its cheaper but they could start jumping all over the place...know what I mean? Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes, but even I'm feeling a little jumpy about it!
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