Dry Ground, Julie Metz and Perfection: A Memoir of Betrayal and Renewal

Just need to step over this grass...don't know if it was cut this week...keeps poking up and scratching my legs. Haven't got much protection since that last shave, but its starting to grow back. Not far now, nearly up to the washing line. Creep along this stone edge and hey...here we are. Mmm, just need to sniff out a little nice patch. here...no, went there yesterday. Sniff, sniff..this will do, dry and soft earth. Okay knickers down and sit...ah that feels good. Lets have a look and see what we've got...mmm...not too bad, just need to cover it up. Done. Shake the last bits of garden out of my paw and back to a cozy spot to sleep. Actually, I think I'll have a little read from 'Perfection: A Memoir of Betrayal and Renewal by Julie Metz, before I go to sleep.

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

The Boy Who Was Raised As a Dog, Bruce D Perry and Chicken for Dinner

It's raining today. Well, it is now. First thing this morning it was okay. I thought Mum and Dad would have longer in bed as it's Sunday. Mum got up to make tea and give us breakfast. Hettie gobbled something down and then shot outside. I thought I would have a bit of time curled up on the bed...but no, they were both up like a shot and getting dressed. Heading off to Balmain apparently to have breakfast. 

So now it is raining. The wet drops of water are cold. I don't feel them at first because my coat is so thick. Eventually though the water starts to make its way down to my skin and by then its all too late and I look so tatty. I have to spend so much time with my legs up around my neck trying to dry my bits and my coat. You see when you are a high class pussy cat there are standards of beauty that you have to comply with. Because I'm purrfect I have to be always looking good.

I think I can smell chicken in the oven. Mmm...its good. If I hang around long enough and make a fuss I just might get some.

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Not Without Hope...Cold Winter's and Nick Schuyler

I love my Mum. I love my Mum all the time. She is so good to us. I know she is good and I know that she loves me and Hettie. I think that Hettie needs to keep her nose out a bit more and let me have all the love and warmth. Loving Mum is warm coz we snuggle up in the bed on Saturday and Sunday mornings and in the evening when she watches the picture box. I just stretch out and relax and soak up all the love and warmth. Us pussycats need that warmth during these cold winter nights, especially when you are left outside all day. Its hard work being a little cat trying to keep warm, so I deserve a big long rest in the evenings after dinner. That Nick Schuyler thinks he had it all tough looking all sorrowful on the TV...just because he got caught in deep water. He did loose his friends though and I'm really sorry about that..but people don't realise how tough it is being a cat!

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Dr.Mehmet Oz and a lack of Sun

Not too happy this weekend. Not much sun. Not even a little place to sit and soak up some warmth. I sat outside at the corner of the house this afternoon and called out. Just called out to anyone, but not one single person came and got me. Not happy today! And then there is that guy Dr. Mehmet OZ talking about loosing weight. Why can't he talk about keeping warm? Thats one reason we have a little extra in winter...to keep warm. Guess he's not as clever as he thinks if he doesn't know that.

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The Sun, Twilight and Stephenie Meyer

It's that time of year. Rather than skulk away into the shade to keep cool Hettie is out hunting every little bit of sun that she can find. She keeps moving around the garden to follow the sun and top up her tan. The tall trees at the back mean that the sun struggles to penetrate at times and only small slivers of sun shine their light onto the lawn. So Hettie moves like a pinball from one spot to the other. I think us girls need to be careful. I'm not sure the sun is doing us any good. I'm happy to stay white and safe. So I'm just going to curl up with another Stephenie Meyer and read my new Twilight book.

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Women, Food and God...plus fur ankle boots!

Like velcro Hettie still drags half the garden into and throughout the house every time she comes in. Bits of leaf and twigs stick to her back end and tail like glue. All this and she still has her knots problem. Her fur just twists and curls from all that lying down to sleep all day. The knots are quite big, like marbles. So when we went off to Albury last weekend we asked the Vet to give Hettie a trim under her tummy. We've been through this before ..when she came back looking like a poodle, so we are always very clear now about what we want.

This time a simple trim under the tummy turned out to be her back end shaved at an angle and her rear...basically bum...shaved to the skin from her crack all down her back legs to just above her ankles. Not a good thing in the Winter months. Anyway, she now looks like she is wearing skin tight leggings with furry little boots.

Guess its back to to read Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth. There must be an answer there.

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Where's Hettie?

I called Sarah to let her know that I was in the taxi and on my way home. No answer. I tried her mobile, but again no answer. I left it a little while, until I was half way home and she picked up the phone. 'We've had a bit of a thing here' she said. I thought Oh my God what now? Apparently, Hettie did not come home the previous night and still wasn't home when Sarah had finished work the following day.

So Sarah went outside calling her name and eventually got a meek answer from somewhere? After using her native cat catching skills Sarah tracked the meow down to the house next door...that is under the house next door!

Sarah knocked on our neighbours (strangers!) door and explained the situation...asking if she could take a look under the house. Its not the first time that Hettie has got into something that she can't get out of. She did exactly the same thing at Thelma Avenue on the Gold Coast. Anyway, minutes later Sarah is crawling on hands and knees under the house with no care for the dangers that lurked around and the potential for spiders. Dust and cobwebs would not deter her from her mission. To get Hettie!

Hettie, Hettie she called and the constant reply of meow (I'm over here!), Meow (I'm over here!) could be clearly heard.

Unfortunately when in this situation Hettie has 'stickpawitus' and cannot move. She just sits rigor mortis like and meows, not budging an inch.

Hettie was not going to move into the light and be seen, let alone grabbed and bagged! Sarah asked our neighbour, the younger of the family, if there was another door that would give access to the other side of the house. Indeed there was and as the young escort accompanied Sarah to the north side the older...a sweet Chinese lady mumbled on and on in some horribly strange language. Probably muttering about it not being good to disturb the spirits that slept there. Just as well Sarah can't speak angry Chinese.

The new door appeared. When I say door, it really was  something on hinges about the size of a tray. So Sarah squeezed through and began the Hettie chant. Out of the darkness the torch found two owl like eyes peering back. The brown beast had been found. However, it would not move. It could hear the sweet incantation of the mother Sarah, but all the beast could see was another more menacing beast with one bright lethal and blinding eye...the torch!

By now Sarah was pretty tired, dusty and just about had enough of the bloody cat. So she decided to just let her stay there and come out in her own time. How she got under the house is anyones guess..but there she sat. Our English speaking neighbour allowed Sarah to keep the small tray door open. And low and behold within 30 minutes the fluffy brown four paw was back home, none the wiser or caring. By the time I got home Sarah looked as if she had just come up from a mine. I don't know who was worse off, my Sarah or Sarah Ferguson?!

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Hamburgers and Christina Aguilera

Sarah is away this weekend and secretly worrying about Hannah and Hettie who will be left under the guard of David, who has to fend for himself while she is away. As it happens Hannah and Hettie were in for a treat. David decided to get a take-away rather than cook, so he went up to the local fish and chip shop. But when he looked at the menu decided instantly to have chips and a hamburger 'with the lot'. On the way back home David nibbled at the chips and by the time he got home the edge was taken off his appetite just a little. The hamburger was huge and it came in one of those polystyrene containers with a flip back lid. So David decided not to have the burger bun and instead flipped open both halves of the lid to create two side by side bowls. He then cut up the bun and placed a half in each side of the container. You see Hettie just loves burger buns so this was a real treat. Hours later there were bits of bun everywhere...as if there had been a bun explosion. Hannah had taken her half and was in heaven in her bed...basically the bath with a towel in it. So Sarah needn't worry. Hannah and Hettie are doing just fine and listening to Christina Aguilera as they eat.
http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Thinking of Rielle Hunter and John Edward

I crept in the other night and got caught again. Couldn't find my back out and there was no food on offer. Sometimes they just don't know how important it is to get food first. Not happy with the portion size so I'll have to sort that out with the management. Had to wait until supper time for more food. Dad would get up then Mum. They would both shuffle papers, put the kettle on and do all sorts of tiny activities, but still no supper! I kept going to our apartment door and peered in to glance at the dinner table, but still nothing in the bowls. I did this several times and it got quite boring. For a long time I stared at Dad with hungry thoughts. He just looked at me and then turned back to the TV. I decided to take root in the apartment even though it was dark. If I stayed close to the door I could either escape or be first at the table. I was miles away thinking of Rielle Hunter and John Edward when Dad peered around the door and went BOO! I nearly shit myself! It really made me jump so I gave him this feeble strained hiss that wouldn't scare a leaf. He really made me jump. So when I had my supper I did a real big smelly poo in the tray. Only thing is I forgot the tray is in our apartment so it wasn't too pleasant for a while!

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Melissa Etheridge and Me!

The evenings are getting darker now so I can get a bit closer to the house and look in to see whats happening without being noticed. I did that last night. I just thought I would keep an eye on Dad because as soon as I come in he closes the door and I'm stuck. The only point of getting in the house is to have dinner. It looked safe so I got a bit closer. If they aren't watching I've sometimes been able to get in, have my dinner and shoot out again before they see me. I crept in last night. Dad was at his desk and Mum was zipping around the house somewhere. I darted to the dinner table, but there was nothing in the bowls. Heck! I ran to the back door, but Dad had already closed it...Heck! Fooled again. Now I've got to put up with Mum's new CD by some woman called Melissa Etheridge. It's blaring away and I've got my paws in my ears. Maybe I'll have better luck tomorrow.

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Pillars of the Earth.

Hettie doesn't say much. In fact she doesn't say very much at all. Hettie only speaks when her life is in danger and then it's quietly. Not that her life is in danger, but if you stare at her for too long she thinks you're to cut her throat. She's a real scaredy cat! Hettie is a looker. She just looks at you with big yellow eyes like an owl. She looks like she is upset and going to burst into tears. Thats Hettie. I don't know why...I just don't know why, but Hettie reminds me of my Nan. My Nan Dumbrell, my Mums, Mum. Its the simplicity of her. Nan was a country girl..in fact her name was Daisy and she was beautiful in her way. And that's Hettie. Hettie is a country girl, not simple, quite shrewed and intelligent in fact...no, just a simple outlook on life. Refreshing. There is a new mini series based on the book by Ken Follett called Pillars Of The Earth and I think my Nan and Hettie are pillars of the earth. Natural, earthy, good people.

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Glee Cats

Everything  is quiet here. No sight or sound of cats. Just the odd trail of fur here and there and bits of carpet that they have sprung from their claws. Where Hannah and Hettie are only God knows. I suspect that they are in some little corner, hidden within a bush or under the house. I dare not say their names out loud. On hearing her name Hannah will appear like a sudden mist and start blinking due to having to expose her eyes to the light from waking and then complaining bitterly in the process. Hettie on the other hand will hear her name and just ignore us until she feels hungry, which lately is most of the time. You can always tell where Hettie has been because she has Velcro fur. Everything sticks to it...leaves, twigs, saw dust, food...just anything. Miraculously it starts to fall off her body as soon as she enters the house leaving bits everywhere. At least one item seems to stick like glue and she wanders around with some fashion accessory most of the evening.  They will soon turn up though as their favourite TV show Glee is about to start.
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Line Dancing Cats

I really do get fed up sometimes with Hannah and Hettie hanging around my ankles. If I don't trip over them, I walk through a trail of abandoned white or chocolate coloured fur. Where does it all come from? They should be bald by now surely? So I decided that they should have a hobby and sent them to line dancing lessons.  If you've never seen line dancing you may be wondering what it is and what's all the fuss about. Firstly line dancing is exactly what it sounds like people...sorry, cats... dancing in lines to music usually all doing the same steps, except for when the cats have a brain freeze and go arse over paw. Apparently that adds to the fun. Although originally done to country music you will now find line dancing classes that dance to just about any type of music, but I'm reliably told that Country superstar Kenny Chesney is the bees knees with his guitar. 

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Real Roo Meat...I mean....

I just don't know. Ever since we got Hannah and Hettie fixed..you know what I mean..that thing where you take the cat to the vet and when you pick them up they have this little square pink patch of skin that has been shaved. They come back all dozy and pissed because they know something has happened, but they don't know what! Okay..so I am a man and I don't like talking about these things. I mean we don't talk about this stuff do we? Well, apparently we do and we do it in public like sex expert Dr. Laura Berman going inside the bedroom to help real couples in crisis. Can their marriages be saved? Who cares...I've got two cats who need help. I think that they are supplementing their..shh..urges...nudge, nudge, if you know what I mean by eating. I think they have mixed up organic Roo meat with the concept of orgasmic Roo heat...know what I mean? I did wonder about giving them that Roo meat..its cheaper but they could start jumping all over the place...know what I mean? Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes, but even I'm feeling a little jumpy about it!

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Magicians!

Did you know Hannah and Hettie are magicians? I think they are. I have never seen food disappear so quickly! Sarah used to buy those neat little multi packets of cat food. All measured out in portions. Each night we would just dish it up half each. Lamb and veg, Chicken and something and Salmon and something else expensive that they ate. Whatever..it all seemed a lot of money for two tiny pussy cats. By the way, did you see the cat in the new Steve Carell and Tina Fey movie Date Night? What was I talking about? Oh yeh, we just happened to come across another meat. Can't say why, I guess that we thought it was worth trying. So here it goes "PAWS Fresh ROO Meat" comes in a big bag and thats what they have every night. Because its not in measured little packets I probably give them more than they deserve and no matter how much I give them it disappears in seconds...I mean seconds. Sounds like an advert I know, but really its Magic!

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

Women, Food and God

Hannah and Hettie hover in the doorway of their apartment (Sarah's Bathroom). They look serious, withdrawn, pale..if a cat can look pale? Eyes watering they trace a glance at every one of my movements. To the left, to the right. I walk towards them and they move closer to their food bowls and I make a beeline to my study. I move back to the kitchen and they watch me, alert, ears flicker and paws ready to spring towards their food. But it does not come. Sarah and I are still busy just doing other stuff. However, Hannah and Hettie wait patiently. I move to the fridge and pass Sarah the salad mixture. Now the two cats are desperate. A faint meow a sort of plea for food murmurs from their whiskered mouths. At last Sarah has finished and the two furry animals believe they will be fed. Wrong! Sarah sits down with her latest book by Geneen Roth called 'Women, Food, and God'. What about 'Cats, Food and Food' by Peter Urr I hear Hannah yell. Just another evening of tender moments as they both wait for their meal. 

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Hettie doesn't like to be filmed!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EzRWwLAzO8 

Purina - Promotions

Purina - Promotions

It's a beautiful...

It's a beautiful Easter Monday in Sydney and the Sun is shining. The air is a bit cool though so after breakfast we jumped straight on the bed because Mum and Dad were having a cup of tea. I could here the birds singing. Hettie and I can always hear the birds...there are so many of them, but they won't let us catch them. We did get one once and it really upset Mum.

Anyway we didn't feel like going out into the garden. Sitting on the bed was a much better idea. I was just getting comfy and Dad was up and Mum too. She got dressed and went downstairs to her gym. Michael Jackson was on the radio. I think he's dead now.

I suppose we better get up too and find a spot in the garden to sleep. Someones upsetting the neighbours dogs so I don't suppose its going to be a peaceful day. It's better when everyones gone off to work. I'll be glad when this holidays over. Now where is Hettie?

http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/

The Adventures of...

The Adventures of Hannah and Hettie are taken from the daily diaries of the people in their life. Dad is David and he is married to Sarah who Hannah and Hettie think is their Mum. Well she is..in a way, but of course not their real Mum, just as David is not their real Dad. Sarah thinks her little cats are gorgeous and they are her 'babies'!

On the other hand its difficult to know what David thinks. He goes to extraordinary lengths to protect and look after Hannah and Hettie, yet sometimes they are obviously so annoying that he doubts they have a single brain cell between them. There will be more on their Pooh Bear like intelligence later in the diaries.

I am the Observer. I just am. I observe this cat family and comment from afar. You see, I write my own diary about Hannah and Hettie and the people in their lives. I am the observer of the adventures of Hannah and Hettie and no-one knows that I am watching!

Last night Hettie...

Last night Hettie didn't come home after dinner. That was naughty as Mum doesn't like her to stay out at night. It was cold as well because it is nearly mid autumn in Sydney. I don't know where she went...she never tells me!

Some people came round for dinner with Mum and Dad so perhaps they scared Hettie off. I did hear Dad get up early morning...grumbling in his sleep and then the door slid open and Hettie came in. Carrying on as usual about the cold, but its her own fault. Of course I was still in my bedroom which is also Mum's bathroom. I sat up waiting for my younger sister to appear and I wanted an explanation for keeping me up with worry all of last night.

However, something more important transpired when Dad appeared with the biscuit packet thingy and Hettie rabbited on and on and I had already forgotten what I had forgotten.