The evenings are getting darker now so I can get a bit closer to the house and look in to see whats happening without being noticed. I did that last night. I just thought I would keep an eye on Dad because as soon as I come in he closes the door and I'm stuck. The only point of getting in the house is to have dinner. It looked safe so I got a bit closer. If they aren't watching I've sometimes been able to get in, have my dinner and shoot out again before they see me. I crept in last night. Dad was at his desk and Mum was zipping around the house somewhere. I darted to the dinner table, but there was nothing in the bowls. Heck! I ran to the back door, but Dad had already closed it...Heck! Fooled again. Now I've got to put up with Mum's new CD by some woman called Melissa Etheridge. It's blaring away and I've got my paws in my ears. Maybe I'll have better luck tomorrow.
Pillars of the Earth.
Hettie doesn't say much. In fact she doesn't say very much at all. Hettie only speaks when her life is in danger and then it's quietly. Not that her life is in danger, but if you stare at her for too long she thinks you're to cut her throat. She's a real scaredy cat! Hettie is a looker. She just looks at you with big yellow eyes like an owl. She looks like she is upset and going to burst into tears. Thats Hettie. I don't know why...I just don't know why, but Hettie reminds me of my Nan. My Nan Dumbrell, my Mums, Mum. Its the simplicity of her. Nan was a country girl..in fact her name was Daisy and she was beautiful in her way. And that's Hettie. Hettie is a country girl, not simple, quite shrewed and intelligent in fact...no, just a simple outlook on life. Refreshing. There is a new mini series based on the book by Ken Follett called Pillars Of The Earth and I think my Nan and Hettie are pillars of the earth. Natural, earthy, good people.
Glee Cats
Everything is quiet here. No sight or sound of cats. Just the odd trail of fur here and there and bits of carpet that they have sprung from their claws. Where Hannah and Hettie are only God knows. I suspect that they are in some little corner, hidden within a bush or under the house. I dare not say their names out loud. On hearing her name Hannah will appear like a sudden mist and start blinking due to having to expose her eyes to the light from waking and then complaining bitterly in the process. Hettie on the other hand will hear her name and just ignore us until she feels hungry, which lately is most of the time. You can always tell where Hettie has been because she has Velcro fur. Everything sticks to it...leaves, twigs, saw dust, food...just anything. Miraculously it starts to fall off her body as soon as she enters the house leaving bits everywhere. At least one item seems to stick like glue and she wanders around with some fashion accessory most of the evening. They will soon turn up though as their favourite TV show Glee is about to start.
http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/
http://hannahandhettie.blogspot.com/
Line Dancing Cats
I really do get fed up sometimes with Hannah and Hettie hanging around my ankles. If I don't trip over them, I walk through a trail of abandoned white or chocolate coloured fur. Where does it all come from? They should be bald by now surely? So I decided that they should have a hobby and sent them to line dancing lessons. If you've never seen line dancing you may be wondering what it is and what's all the fuss about. Firstly line dancing is exactly what it sounds like people...sorry, cats... dancing in lines to music usually all doing the same steps, except for when the cats have a brain freeze and go arse over paw. Apparently that adds to the fun. Although originally done to country music you will now find line dancing classes that dance to just about any type of music, but I'm reliably told that Country superstar Kenny Chesney is the bees knees with his guitar.
Real Roo Meat...I mean....
I just don't know. Ever since we got Hannah and Hettie fixed..you know what I mean..that thing where you take the cat to the vet and when you pick them up they have this little square pink patch of skin that has been shaved. They come back all dozy and pissed because they know something has happened, but they don't know what! Okay..so I am a man and I don't like talking about these things. I mean we don't talk about this stuff do we? Well, apparently we do and we do it in public like sex expert Dr. Laura Berman going inside the bedroom to help real couples in crisis. Can their marriages be saved? Who cares...I've got two cats who need help. I think that they are supplementing their..shh..urges...nudge, nudge, if you know what I mean by eating. I think they have mixed up organic Roo meat with the concept of orgasmic Roo heat...know what I mean? I did wonder about giving them that Roo meat..its cheaper but they could start jumping all over the place...know what I mean? Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes, but even I'm feeling a little jumpy about it!
Magicians!
Did you know Hannah and Hettie are magicians? I think they are. I have never seen food disappear so quickly! Sarah used to buy those neat little multi packets of cat food. All measured out in portions. Each night we would just dish it up half each. Lamb and veg, Chicken and something and Salmon and something else expensive that they ate. Whatever..it all seemed a lot of money for two tiny pussy cats. By the way, did you see the cat in the new Steve Carell and Tina Fey movie Date Night? What was I talking about? Oh yeh, we just happened to come across another meat. Can't say why, I guess that we thought it was worth trying. So here it goes "PAWS Fresh ROO Meat" comes in a big bag and thats what they have every night. Because its not in measured little packets I probably give them more than they deserve and no matter how much I give them it disappears in seconds...I mean seconds. Sounds like an advert I know, but really its Magic!
Women, Food and God
Hannah and Hettie hover in the doorway of their apartment (Sarah's Bathroom). They look serious, withdrawn, pale..if a cat can look pale? Eyes watering they trace a glance at every one of my movements. To the left, to the right. I walk towards them and they move closer to their food bowls and I make a beeline to my study. I move back to the kitchen and they watch me, alert, ears flicker and paws ready to spring towards their food. But it does not come. Sarah and I are still busy just doing other stuff. However, Hannah and Hettie wait patiently. I move to the fridge and pass Sarah the salad mixture. Now the two cats are desperate. A faint meow a sort of plea for food murmurs from their whiskered mouths. At last Sarah has finished and the two furry animals believe they will be fed. Wrong! Sarah sits down with her latest book by Geneen Roth called 'Women, Food, and God'. What about 'Cats, Food and Food' by Peter Urr I hear Hannah yell. Just another evening of tender moments as they both wait for their meal.
It's a beautiful...
It's a beautiful Easter Monday in Sydney and the Sun is shining. The air is a bit cool though so after breakfast we jumped straight on the bed because Mum and Dad were having a cup of tea. I could here the birds singing. Hettie and I can always hear the birds...there are so many of them, but they won't let us catch them. We did get one once and it really upset Mum.
Anyway we didn't feel like going out into the garden. Sitting on the bed was a much better idea. I was just getting comfy and Dad was up and Mum too. She got dressed and went downstairs to her gym. Michael Jackson was on the radio. I think he's dead now.
I suppose we better get up too and find a spot in the garden to sleep. Someones upsetting the neighbours dogs so I don't suppose its going to be a peaceful day. It's better when everyones gone off to work. I'll be glad when this holidays over. Now where is Hettie?
The Adventures of...
The Adventures of Hannah and Hettie are taken from the daily diaries of the people in their life. Dad is David and he is married to Sarah who Hannah and Hettie think is their Mum. Well she is..in a way, but of course not their real Mum, just as David is not their real Dad. Sarah thinks her little cats are gorgeous and they are her 'babies'!
On the other hand its difficult to know what David thinks. He goes to extraordinary lengths to protect and look after Hannah and Hettie, yet sometimes they are obviously so annoying that he doubts they have a single brain cell between them. There will be more on their Pooh Bear like intelligence later in the diaries.
I am the Observer. I just am. I observe this cat family and comment from afar. You see, I write my own diary about Hannah and Hettie and the people in their lives. I am the observer of the adventures of Hannah and Hettie and no-one knows that I am watching!
Last night Hettie...
Last night Hettie didn't come home after dinner. That was naughty as Mum doesn't like her to stay out at night. It was cold as well because it is nearly mid autumn in Sydney. I don't know where she went...she never tells me!
Some people came round for dinner with Mum and Dad so perhaps they scared Hettie off. I did hear Dad get up early morning...grumbling in his sleep and then the door slid open and Hettie came in. Carrying on as usual about the cold, but its her own fault. Of course I was still in my bedroom which is also Mum's bathroom. I sat up waiting for my younger sister to appear and I wanted an explanation for keeping me up with worry all of last night.
However, something more important transpired when Dad appeared with the biscuit packet thingy and Hettie rabbited on and on and I had already forgotten what I had forgotten.
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